Lessons from a Retired Strong Friend

If you’re anything like me, chances are you have some “strong friend” tendencies.  You may even struggle with giving yourself credit for the amazing things you've done and/or are doing.  You're likely so busy taking care of your tribe or working on your goals that you haven't even noticed that the “strong friend” in you is exhausted.

 

Yea…I know that story well because that was me a few years ago but then something clicked…or better yet my therapist snatched my edges and made me click (more on that on another day).
 

A few years ago I decided to throw the “strong friend”/superwoman cape in the trash🤷🏽‍♀️...Why?! I just couldn’t care for others in that way anymore.  I had to learn to be ok with letting that part of me go, as it had become a part of my identity.  I took pride in wearing that cape but let me tell you.. it was hands down one of the best decisions I've made for my well-being.

 

Here are a few lessons I learned during that time:

 

▫️Everyone will not know how to support & love you when you need it the most.  So though you may think your tribe knows you well enough to know how to support you..News flash…They don't!  It's your responsibility to communicate what you need from your loved ones.

 

▫️Being open to new people who can support you can be life-changing.  Life is life'ing for a lot of people.  Therefore, do not be offended when your tribe cannot support you.  This is why therapy, coaches, mentors, church friends, colleagues, etc. can come into play.  Stay open to the possibilities my friend.  God plants the right people in your life when you need them. 

 

▫️Taking time out to take care of yourself does not make you a bad person.  If anything, it shows you are tapping into your wisdom.  Stop feeling guilty for taking care of yourself! 

 

▫️Sometimes you have to get to a quiet place.  When you are a strong friend, you are

accustomed to receiving everyone else's noise.  So much so, that you may disregard your time.  Give yourself some time to slow down, acknowledge how you are feeling, and go from there.  

 

▫️ Vulnerability is the gift that keeps on giving.  Believe it or not, some people NEED to see you without your cape on.  It reminds them that you are human too. 

 

▫️ Set healthy boundaries.  Know the reality of what you can/cannot manage and communicate that to your loved ones and repeat as necessary.  It will take time for people to adjust to the new version of you.